Trying to fall in love with film again.

I try not to get too personal on the internet especially not on the blog. Mostly because this blog is meant for film reviews, however, this is going to be an exception. The decision to write this post was also spontaneous as I decided to write it while working on my review for The Batman.

My current view at my local Starbucks

This blog has been active since 2018 and up until last year, I endeavored to have a new post out at least once a week, and I did. And then came Instagram. I initially started using Instagram as a way to drive views here and slowly that evolved into using Instagram as a film review tool much like this one. I had new reviews and Throwback Thursdays on the blog as well as Terrible Movie Tuesday on Instagram.

2020  was probably my best year ever in terms of content, ever. I put out 98 movie reviews that year as well as launched a segment on my Instagram called 'Influencer Interview.' I even did a 30-Day Movie Challenge where as the name implies, I reviewed 30 movies in 30 days.

That came to a head in 2021.

It started off well, or as well as it could have, seeing as lockdown was still the norm in most of the world.  It was all good till I re-started school at the beginning of  February after 11 months and found out my exams were at the end of March. Cue intense study mode which meant content creation ground to a halt. 

 

After exams, I knew I would need to take a break from reviewing movies, as I was mentally and physically exhausted from school. So, I told myself that after a few weeks, I would get back to reviewing at the pace I had grown used to in 2020. However, it never happened. A few weeks, turned into a month, then three, then six, and here I am a year and a half later still not producing content the way I really want to.

I’ve been struggling with burnout for the past year and I have a lingering sense of guilt because I feel like I’m letting so many people down but it hasn’t been easy to get back into watching and reviewing movies at the pace I was doing it in 2019/2020 https://t.co/1n7wW0twS0

— The Cinematic Aficionado (@AficionadoBlog) April 14, 2022

There are multiple reasons for this...

One of them being Covid. I spent most of 2020 indoors with a lot of time on my hands which gave me a lot of time on my hands. This meant I could watch a lot of movies and review them because I didn't have much else to distract me. 

Another reason is Law School. For anyone who doesn't know, I've been in Law School since 2019 which was interrupted by the Pandemic which meant I had a lot of work to do in a very short amount of time, which left very little time to review movies. 

The biggest reasons for the lack of reviews, however, has been my mental health and  burnout. I have skirted round this issue multiple times here and on Instagram, and while I am not going to go into detail about what went on, let’s just say I wasn’t firing on all cylinders. Looking back at 2020, putting out content the way I was, wasn’t and isn’t sustainable. I am not a machine that can churn out blog posts and videos every day, I thought I could but I can’t. 

Trying to get back into film reviewing has been really tough. There have been multiple absences and even more apologies, with promises to come back soon. And with each broken promise, there has also been a tremendous amount of guilt. 

When I look at how many film release’s I’ve missed, I get really sad because I feel like I’m missing out but it’s been really hard to get back in film reviewing, especially writing reviews. So maybe I should start with Instagram posts first?

— The Cinematic Aficionado (@AficionadoBlog) March 25, 2022

I feel like I am letting everyone and most importantly myself down. I am not watching movies the way I used to and even when I do watch them, the reviews don’t come, and not for lack of trying. When I do sit down to write a review, nothing happens, the words don’t flow. And then I am stuck with a draft I will likely never finish. 

And then I get consumed by guilt. It has been a vicious cycle that I have tried to break over and over but to no avail. 

That is where this tweet comes in 

#filmtwt I need your help! I stopped reviewing movies for while and while I want to go back to producing the amount of content I was before, I want to do it because I love movies not because I want to create content. So my question is this, what is it about movies that you love?

— The Cinematic Aficionado (@AficionadoBlog) August 29, 2022

I think the best way to fall in love with film reviewing again, is to fall in love with film again. I need to watch movies because I  love watching them, because I love the world they take me to, not because I feel the need to reach a quota or compare myself to my peers.

And this is where all of you come in. Let me know why you fell in love with film, what is it about movies that you love? 

I look forward to reading your replies.